solarsys: (2 Sam)
 Pinterest is tricky sometimes. We each have a board to pin to, but sometimes two of us will like the same thing, or sometimes we'll be too blurry to figure out who, exactly, likes a certain pin. Being blurry sucks honestly, it's really inconvenient and it doesn't help our self(ves?)-doubt. Not sure there's anything to be done about it, though. ah well.
solarsys: (Default)
  • an elf near to death is taken in by a lion/human shapeshifter, and in return must help her defeat the dragon terrorizing the area.
  • a demon wants to become a cook, but the ingredients at the center of the earth are mostly lava-based, so the demon gets a job as a cook for a divine. however, it turns out the divines eat humans, and this one in particular has sent the demon out to hunt down one particular human with a "good" (read: "well-seasoned") soul. instead, the demon decides to protect the human.
  • a traveling mouse arrives in a mouse city only to be dubbed a savior by the local prophet. thus begins a long and gruling training process marked by several mini-climaxes, only for the former traveling mouse to discover they do indeed hold some power
  • a fisher's daughter is blamed for the death of her little brother, even though it wasn't her fault. she runs away and is taken in by a vampire. they teach each other trust.
solarsys: (4 Nix)
  1. write and illustrate a novella/light novel
  2. figure out how to print a few dozen copies
  3. get an artist's alley table at a local con
  4. $$$ + build a name
solarsys: (4 Nix)
I think I get it, sort of. for Twelve, life's a play and every scene is meticulously planned out. everything has to be just so, or its wrong. they live an overdramatized version of life and that's part of why they do the things they do. the rest is internalized ableism and insecurity and lacking trust.

another thing: my system role is basically that of head babysitter.

solarsys: (4 Nix)
 so uh, sorry about that. not deleting the post bc we're gonna show them to our therapist but, yeah. Twelve had some brain weasels to get out. its all good now tho, no worries

also our icons arent working very well for some reason, so thats a thing >: (

solarsys: (Default)
 current symptoms
  • rapi reapid fast
  • paranoid probably
  • lots of hand arm movmeent, fast fast fast
  • pinching scratching rubbign hands
  • dont screatch
  • overheated?????but that might be the heat and the moveing
  • going to punch slef
  • dont punch self
  • stop
  • stop
  • stop
solarsys: (Default)
 oh go d realizations so
  1. abilify has an antipsychotic effect what if the psych was giving us that and slowly raising the dose to get rid of the headmates, what if he thought they were just Voices and he wanted to get rid of them, were jut scarcely short of 10mg oh god no we need a new psych asap
  2. i forgot the other realizations
  3. i think twelve is being too active theres a distinct flavor of Bottled Energy In A Can rn
-Nix (twelve too?????who knows who knows who knoww)))

cw meds

Jan. 25th, 2015 10:18 pm
solarsys: (4 Nix)
 gotta love fckin abilify. went to sleep at like 7 maybe, woke up three hours later more rested than we've been in weeks. literally what the hell are these pills im so


Jan. 25th, 2015 03:06 pm
solarsys: (9 Sandy)
 i haven't had the chance to communicate outside in a couple of months i think, so hello! i am here! until this one, Darby, becomes too tired to transcribe for me! i am in a group now, with these ones, you know them already i am sure! i have been here for two years, or almost that, and it is nice! these ones listen to me and i try to make them sleep, but it isn't easy, as they rest very badly. they used to transcribe for me and write silly things, some of it i did not do, some of it i did, most of it i did not say, but the other people they wrote with turned sour and they stopped doing that. but i am still here! :D

-Sandy (with help)
solarsys: (2 Sam)
 we might self-syndicate writing on here if we can actually find something we'd like to write and we can stick with. just a heads up, i guess.


Jan. 24th, 2015 08:13 pm
solarsys: (5 Ell)
 Everyone's posting today so I got on the tablet so I can post too! The tablet makes everything typed proper automatically so that's why it looks weird
(But it can't make me use periods muahahaha!!)

But I'm playing Pokemon (the one with zekrom I think) and listening to the Pokemon theme songs on YouTube!! Its really fun even though the songs are the full versions so they sound different from how they sound on the TV, when we used to have cable tv and watched Pokemon there, and this game is kind of hard, but thats OK because I have Luck!! (Luck is who I talk to when I'm in the back so I'm not lonely)

Uhh the others are playing this silly farming game where they have to grow a lot of wheat really fast, but not very fast because they have twelve hours to do it all, which is a long time to grow wheat because it only takes maybe two minutes I the game (I bet it takes a long time to grow real wheat!!) 

I'm gonna go back tompokemon though!! Bye!!

solarsys: (Nix)
Darby was talking about therapy before and it got me thinking on the track of "what if the new therapist is some kind of merging nut" and now i'm like, pissed but in the vague sort of way when there's nothing to really b pissed about but you are anyway? just the idea of someone telling us we NEED to integrate is infuriating. like, and i mean the "everyone come together, you must Be One to function properly!" kind of thing, not the "you might want to consider merging these two headmates to make things better for the whole system and themselves" thing, and even that's kind of fucking shoddy to suggest. like i swear to me, if this guy suggests merging Ell for veir own sake i'm literally going to say he's asking us to do a mercy kill. that is exactly what i'm going to say because it's exactly what that suggestion is. "get rid of vem because ve clearly cant be happy like this" eat my ass lmao

(of course i havent met the guy yet but still, i'm wary)

solarsys: (Darby)
we made icons of us!!! :- D

Me, Nix, Six, Logan, Ell, Nine, and Twelve, in order!!
(though we hopefully won't ever need to use the last two, because that'll mean something Bad happened. they don't front unless something bad is happening :- ( which is sad. i wish they would front when good things happen, and be happy!! but they're too stuck in bad things to focus on anything else right now. i guess that's what therapy is for.)

solarsys: (Default)
 i don't think we've got a readily accessible headspace. i think the one we do have cant be reached except by lucid dreams, and i think the closest we've got to a waking headspace is a couple of little rooms we all hang around in. One's the "Front" room, and that's just where we hang out normally. then there's a "Lockdown" room where everyone gets thrown if someone decides theyre gonna front alone for a while. Then there's the Back, and that's where we go otherwise, and that's not readily accessible. we just go away - probably to that goddamn headcity we can't see when we're awake.

for the millionth time: we've gotta start meditating again. this shit's not gonna come around on its own.

solarsys: (Default)
  • Turn in forms and take care of library fees so we can withdraw from current HS
  • Tell Entrepreneurship teacher we're staying in her class
  • Remember to talk to therapist about divinity
  • Put together pieces of novel idea
  • Check out that church to see if it's any good
  • Wrote 100 sentences in an hour for school yesterday
  • Inadvertantly got English teacher off our back
  • Talked to therapist about future plans
  • Talked to therapist about Darby's insecurity
  • Established new sense of confidence
solarsys: (Default)
Our current therapist, who doesn't specialize at all in plurality stuff, referred us to a team nearby. They're gonna do "testing" in order to get a proper diagnosis or two for us. Being told by a psych that we actually fit the criteria for DID or DDNOS would be reassuring, but we've decided that even if they say we're just a bunch of delusions, we know we're real and that's what matters at the end of the day.
solarsys: (Default)
having trauma feels. cw for mentions of abuse, manipulation, sexual coercion of a minor, panic attacks, etc.

Read more... )
solarsys: (Default)
(sorry for all the lists -Darby)

Six - nonbinary girl (she/her/hers) - aromantic asexual biQP
Darby - femme genderqueer (sie/sem/sier or they/them/their) - demi-nomaromantic asexual
Nix - masc genderqueer (de/dim/dis or they/them/their) - aromantic demi-bisexual

everyone else is either a kid or roughly 110% aroace-aQP or both

ell is...

Jan. 21st, 2015 07:30 pm
solarsys: (Default)
Greg (over the garden wall)
Benny (lego movie)
Matt (death note)
Hamtaro (hamtaro)
Penelope (hamtaro)
Simba (lion king)
Nemo (finding nemo)
Anna (frozen)
Lilo (lilo & stitch)
Link (legend of zelda)
Kirby (Kirby)
Bun (Kirby)

That's all i can remember for now.


solarsys: (Default)
The world is my oyster! Thats a phrase, right? Or is it just from Spongebob? I dont know, and I don't mind either way, because it's true! I mean, first off, I definitely want an A.A. in Religious Studies from the local community college, that much is for sure. And there's this herbalism academy up in Boston I'd totally be interested in, because learning about spices and herbs sounds really fun!! I could become a Unitarian Universalist minister maybe, or go to a four-year school and get a degree in social work or teaching. I could help people, whether through social work or through religion or both! (Of course not if they didn't want religious help!! I wouldn't force it on anyone, that'd be mean and awful). I could teach elementary school maybe, or be a school counselor, or teach... I'm not sure about the word "special ed" honestly, it seems pejorative,, maybe "accommodating education"??? I don't know :- (

Gosh i kind of got carried away... but still! There's so much to do in life! And i can choose different things to do at different points in life, like I could go back to school in a couple of decades for education! I just hope everyone else will be okay... They don't like school much. I'm not super good at it either, but I like learning things like religion and herbs and how to teach people! And even more important than the school is that I could help people afterwards! aaaaa there's just so much to do in life and I'm so excited!!!!! And don't even get me started on non-career things, like weddings, cause I could go on about that too, but that's something for another post ;- )

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