As always, anyone can vote, but patrons get double weight for their votes. If you'd like to be a patron and get bonus content, please consider joining up on Patreon! And if you want to see the blurbs for any of these stories, those are here! If you don't have a DW and so can't do the poll, that's okay; just leave your vote in the comments below; anon comments are turned on.
Which story gets the money? YOU CHOOSE, readers!
Are you a Patreon patron?
Which story gets posted this month?
Number One and the United Delland Coalition (I
Style over Substance (Durable Medical Equipment)
Death, Will, and the Girl
( Rosh Hashanah )
It's genuinely disorienting to encounter all these spaces where I don't have to educate anyone or fight to be seen for who I am. Other people have already done that work, and leaders have clearly been receptive to it. (Rabbi Lippman is queer, but I don't assume that cis queer people will be welcoming to or understanding of trans people, especially nonbinary trans people.) I get to just show up and be a human being in human community. What an immense privilege. What a gift. Honestly, that might be the thing that gets me to stick with this—just the pure pleasure of being in a place where I didn't personally have to claw out a space for myself.
Josh met me and Kit in the park and we walked for a while (GMaps Pedometer says I walked 3.2 miles today, most of it pushing a heavy stroller with a heavy toddler; my feet and arms are very tired). I teased him that he should be glad I didn't make him meet the rabbi. But this is my thing, really. Maybe it's my latest three-month hobby. Maybe it'll be more than that. We'll see.
( The Politics: why this argument doesn't make sense, even under its own logic. )
( The Facts: twenty-plus years of non-DID multiples using 'system.' )
Namely: we will be deleting our Facebook, and drastically cutting down our tumblr time (if not ending it entirely).
But my reasons for it aren't the same as theirs. Biff just doesn't like the Internet in general, and Mac noticed that it wasn't making us happy. Rogan has said he finds internet stuff increasingly overwhelming, and I think I know why: the newer generation of social media sites are designed for constant interaction.
We grew up in an older Internet time, where you weren't expected to be online every day. You could take a break for a week, and quickly catch up, no problem! Forums, DeviantArt, Livejournal, all of these sites are (or were) not intended to be used multiple times a day, every day. (Unless you're a HARDCORE user.) The sites were also designed for specific things: to make posts, or put up art. They weren't expected to be everything for everyone, and while DeviantArt had forums and chatrooms, you could do perfectly fine without them. (And I don't think the chatrooms were there when we first joined.)
However, as time has gone on and more folks are on the Internet more often, these sites have changed their design philosophy. Instead of being made for folks to interact maybe a few times a week, they're now made to be posted on multiple times a day for long stretches. They're also more generalized. For instance, Facebook was originally intended for folks applying for college, or in college; now it's used to organize offline events and work engagements, catch up with people from your past, and have heated political arguments. It has groups, events, chats, games, individual pages, all with very questionable security and ethics, and they sell the information for profit.
I don't think it's paranoid to say that a site like Facebook designs itself to be as omnipresent as possible so they can get as much information (and therefore as much profit) as they can from their users! But I can say that it makes the site not a lot of fun to be on, for us anyway. Even the nicest site in the world would get overwhelming and tiresome when you're encouraged to be there all the time! And by trying to be everything for everyone, their designs tend to fall apart, because they're trying to do so many things at the same time. So it becomes awfully byzantine (in the case of Facebook) or just plain incoherent and broken (like tumblr)!
Arguments and conflict happen on every website. But when a site is designed to be used all the time, the rate of interaction as high as possible, then it means that instead of seeing conflict maybe once a month, you see it all the time, and that's its own kind of draining! On the whole, I think that we are just not able to keep up with sites like that, and that it's bad for our health to try.
In other words, it's time to refocus our online energy to websites that are designed for fewer, more specific interactions! Therefore, I personally vote in agreement for deleting our Facebook, continuing our low/no tumblr usage, and refocusing our attention on sites like Dreamwidth.
Also there's a sale going for about nine more hours, so snatch one on the cheap!
--Sneak and Mori
- The con went very well. The entire trip cost us less than thirty dollars, thanks to Rogan selling well. Huzzah!
- We took all the photographs we needed of our childhood neighborhood, and I daresay we are now prepared for future comics set there. Well done, dears! (However, we did not get to visit Candle Cave. That's all right, Biff got a good hike, and regardless, we went in presuming it would be a bonus, not a given.)
- We got to see some people of our past, including a couple high school friends, and Dr. Drag. (Dr. Drag was our first therapist, though we have not had that sort of relationship in years. She has mentions on this blog, probably buried under the 'therapy' tag.) Their generosity allowed us to make this trip, and we are very grateful.
- Rogan finished Alter Boys In Love, but due to the printer's website being broken on Mozilla and some truly peculiar requests regarding our formatting, we have not managed to finish the order. We hope to complete that today.
- Due to the intense work schedule, and the emotional challenge of returning to our hometown, Rogan has been worn out. He will not be fronting for a bit, and Mori, Biff, Sneak, and I will manage things until he has rested up.
Thank you for your patience!
So I need to figure out how to do that more. I hoped a week of early rising would reset my body clock but of course I'm right back to going to bed at 5 a.m. (or later—Monday morning I went to bed at half past nine, which is not okay and has set me up for feeling like crap all week) so I will have to work on that part because I think it's pretty essential. Having something fun to get up for really helped, a thing that has been true going back to my childhood; I would be late to school every weekday morning for months but happily get up at dawn on a weekend to go to the Stormville flea market with my mother. Even more crucially, I would care enough to go to bed early—a thing I did during Kit's week off too—so that getting up early didn't wreck me and wreck the event I was looking forward to.
I don't think I can get up before 10 on a regular basis, but if I got up at 10 or 10:30 to be out the door by 11 for a ~12:00 thing someplace, that sounds doable. It just has to be a fun thing. I have an OT appointment at 13:00 and I genuinely enjoy OT in addition to it being kind of vital for my health and well-being, but it's not the exhilarating kind of fun, so going to bed early and getting up early and getting there on time are all challenging.
What are exuberant fun things that could happen around noon? I think I need something where I'm making a commitment to someone else, at least at first; I've tried setting schedules through sheer willpower before and it's never worked out. Lunches with friends? Classes of some kind? (Ideally free or cheap ones.) Swapping language lessons with someone who wants to improve their spoken or written English and help me learn to read kanji or sign ASL? A teaching or tutoring gig? (Maybe the local library needs volunteers in their adult learning center. I've sent them a note.) A crafting meetup? A chorus or other singing group? A walking club? Doing storytime or otherwise helping out at Kit's daycare? It doesn't need to be a big thing or a long thing or a very structured thing. It just has to start at around the right time of day and get me out of the house and engage my body and mind and bring me real joy. Nothing will do that as well as time with Kit, but some approximation should be possible. Suggestions are very welcome, keeping in mind that I used to write the learning section of the nonsense nyc weekly events newsletter and already know about basically every source of free and cheap educational experiences in the city. :)