Phone back on, for the moment

Sep. 24th, 2017 11:56 am
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, surrounded by a circle and the words LB Lee. (Default)
[personal profile] lb_lee
We have phone service again, for a little while.  Working out a more permanent solution.

If anyone has an unlocked dumb phone they no longer want, that'd be awesome. (EDIT: we called Freedom Pop up and apparently they only do Smartphones, so it looks like we might get one whether we want to or not.) We will probably be moving to Freedom Pop, but they seem to only offer smartphones, which none of us want.  Obviously, though, a smartphone beats no phone at all.  Still working on it.

September Patreon Poll

Sep. 23rd, 2017 06:17 pm
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, surrounded by a circle and the words LB Lee. (Default)
[personal profile] lb_lee
Hey everybody, it's that time again: time to vote for which story gets the Patreon money this month!  Sorry for the delay; prepping Alter Boys In Love and the last-minute trip to Texas took a chunk out of me. But now we're back on track, and the con rush will end after October! I have some bigger stories planned and in process, and we'll have some new stuff for sale!

As always, anyone can vote, but patrons get double weight for their votes.  If you'd like to be a patron and get bonus content, please consider joining up on Patreon!  And if you want to see the blurbs for any of these stories, those are here!  If you don't have a DW and so can't do the poll, that's okay; just leave your vote in the comments below; anon comments are turned on.

Which story gets the money?  YOU CHOOSE, readers!

Poll #18857 September Story Poll!
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 4


Are you a Patreon patron?

View Answers

No
2 (50.0%)

Yes
2 (50.0%)

Which story gets posted this month?

View Answers

Number One and the United Delland Coalition (I
3 (75.0%)

Style over Substance (Durable Medical Equipment)
1 (25.0%)

Starfishing
0 (0.0%)

Death, Will, and the Girl
0 (0.0%)

Alter Boys In Love is almost here!

Sep. 23rd, 2017 12:20 am
lb_lee: A pencil drawing of Mac and Rogan canoodling with a little heart above their heads. (love)
[personal profile] lb_lee
Hey guys, check it out! We got the new proof of Alter Boys in Love, and it's looking awesome!
Image of Mac showing off the book, cut to spare spam. )

"Home away from home"

Sep. 22nd, 2017 03:07 am
rosefox: A bearded man in a yarmulke shouting L'CHAIM! (Judaism)
[personal profile] rosefox
Selichot )

Rosh Hashanah )

It's genuinely disorienting to encounter all these spaces where I don't have to educate anyone or fight to be seen for who I am. Other people have already done that work, and leaders have clearly been receptive to it. (Rabbi Lippman is queer, but I don't assume that cis queer people will be welcoming to or understanding of trans people, especially nonbinary trans people.) I get to just show up and be a human being in human community. What an immense privilege. What a gift. Honestly, that might be the thing that gets me to stick with this—just the pure pleasure of being in a place where I didn't personally have to claw out a space for myself.

Josh met me and Kit in the park and we walked for a while (GMaps Pedometer says I walked 3.2 miles today, most of it pushing a heavy stroller with a heavy toddler; my feet and arms are very tired). I teased him that he should be glad I didn't make him meet the rabbi. But this is my thing, really. Maybe it's my latest three-month hobby. Maybe it'll be more than that. We'll see.
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, surrounded by a circle and the words LB Lee. (Default)
[personal profile] lb_lee
There is a chestnut of misinformation on tumblr claiming that 'system' is a term made by DID folks, for DID folks, and nobody else is allowed to use it.  This is often wrapped up in the idea that multiplicity is owned by people with DID/DDNOS/OSDD, and anyone else claiming it is appropriating.  This is utter nonsense.  I've written numerous posts on this before, but here is the more thorough breakdown, first focused on the politics of this statement, and then the actual facts of reality.

The Politics: why this argument doesn't make sense, even under its own logic. )

The Facts: twenty-plus years of non-DID multiples using 'system.' )

Changing our Internet Usage

Sep. 17th, 2017 12:33 pm
lb_lee: A picture of Sneak smiling (sneak)
[personal profile] lb_lee
Hello!  It's Sneak!  I was thinking about an article that [personal profile] metahacker linked, this one about designing sites addictively.  And it's made me get on board with Mac and Biff's idea about changing how we interact with the Internet!

Namely: we will be deleting our Facebook, and drastically cutting down our tumblr time (if not ending it entirely).

But my reasons for it aren't the same as theirs.  Biff just doesn't like the Internet in general, and Mac noticed that it wasn't making us happy.  Rogan has said he finds internet stuff increasingly overwhelming, and I think I know why: the newer generation of social media sites are designed for constant interaction.

We grew up in an older Internet time, where you weren't expected to be online every day.  You could take a break for a week, and quickly catch up, no problem!  Forums, DeviantArt, Livejournal, all of these sites are (or were) not intended to be used multiple times a day, every day. (Unless you're a HARDCORE user.) The sites were also designed for specific things: to make posts, or put up art.  They weren't expected to be everything for everyone, and while DeviantArt had forums and chatrooms, you could do perfectly fine without them. (And I don't think the chatrooms were there when we first joined.)

However, as time has gone on and more folks are on the Internet more often, these sites have changed their design philosophy.  Instead of being made for folks to interact maybe a few times a week, they're now made to be posted on multiple times a day for long stretches.  They're also more generalized.  For instance, Facebook was originally intended for folks applying for college, or in college; now it's used to organize offline events and work engagements, catch up with people from your past, and have heated political arguments.  It has groups, events, chats, games, individual pages, all with very questionable security and ethics, and they sell the information for profit.

I don't think it's paranoid to say that a site like Facebook designs itself to be as omnipresent as possible so they can get as much information (and therefore as much profit) as they can from their users!  But I can say that it makes the site not a lot of fun to be on, for us anyway.  Even the nicest site in the world would get overwhelming and tiresome when you're encouraged to be there all the time!  And by trying to be everything for everyone, their designs tend to fall apart, because they're trying to do so many things at the same time.  So it becomes awfully byzantine (in the case of Facebook) or just plain incoherent and broken (like tumblr)!

Arguments and conflict happen on every website.  But when a site is designed to be used all the time, the rate of interaction as high as possible, then it means that instead of seeing conflict maybe once a month, you see it all the time, and that's its own kind of draining!  On the whole, I think that we are just not able to keep up with sites like that, and that it's bad for our health to try.

In other words, it's time to refocus our online energy to websites that are designed for fewer, more specific interactions!  Therefore, I personally vote in agreement for deleting our Facebook, continuing our low/no tumblr usage, and refocusing our attention on sites like Dreamwidth.

--Sneak

Queer Crip Pride shirts!

Sep. 16th, 2017 02:16 pm
lb_lee: A picture of Sneak smiling (sneak)
[personal profile] lb_lee
Hey guys, did you love the gorgeous textures and typography for our covers of the Homeless Year and Alter Boys In Love?  Awesome news, the designer friend who did those is now selling awesome queer disability pride shirts!  We're planning on buying the purple one with the pink 'disability pride' letters.

Also there's a sale going for about nine more hours, so snatch one on the cheap!

Woo, T-shirts!

--Sneak and Mori

Back from Texas!

Sep. 13th, 2017 02:29 pm
lb_lee: Miranda saying "REALITY" with airquotes. (realitylolz)
[personal profile] lb_lee
Hello all!  As you can see, we've returned from our trip, and it wasn't as bad as Mori feared.  We're rather tired, but I'll give the quick sum-up!
  • The con went very well.  The entire trip cost us less than thirty dollars, thanks to Rogan selling well.  Huzzah!
  • We took all the photographs we needed of our childhood neighborhood, and I daresay we are now prepared for future comics set there.  Well done, dears! (However, we did not get to visit Candle Cave.  That's all right, Biff got a good hike, and regardless, we went in presuming it would be a bonus, not a given.)
  • We got to see some people of our past, including a couple high school friends, and Dr. Drag. (Dr. Drag was our first therapist, though we have not had that sort of relationship in years.  She has mentions on this blog, probably buried under the 'therapy' tag.) Their generosity allowed us to make this trip, and we are very grateful.
  • Rogan finished Alter Boys In Love, but due to the printer's website being broken on Mozilla and some truly peculiar requests regarding our formatting, we have not managed to finish the order.  We hope to complete that today.
  • Due to the intense work schedule, and the emotional challenge of returning to our hometown, Rogan has been worn out.  He will not be fronting for a bit, and Mori, Biff, Sneak, and I will manage things until he has rested up.

Thank you for your patience!
--Miranda
rosefox: A man's head with a panel open to show gears, and another man looking inside. (examined head)
[personal profile] rosefox
I don't want to write another huge long entry tonight, because last night's took 90 minutes and then I went to bed super late, but I do want to leave myself some quick notes on a thing. When Kit was off from daycare for a week, I was up and dressed by 11 every morning so I could do childcare. I put on real clothes and left the house every day. I did social things and I did actively fun things (not what I'm coming to think of as enjoyable sloth things, like playing video games or hanging out on Slack). My body and brain were engaged. I felt GREAT. I enjoyed every day and ended the week feeling like I'd been on vacation—like I'd gone on a holiday to New York and done all those things I'm always too busy or tired or whatever to do. And I did it while working (at night) and staying totally on top of my deadlines, even the ones accelerated by the holiday.

So I need to figure out how to do that more. I hoped a week of early rising would reset my body clock but of course I'm right back to going to bed at 5 a.m. (or later—Monday morning I went to bed at half past nine, which is not okay and has set me up for feeling like crap all week) so I will have to work on that part because I think it's pretty essential. Having something fun to get up for really helped, a thing that has been true going back to my childhood; I would be late to school every weekday morning for months but happily get up at dawn on a weekend to go to the Stormville flea market with my mother. Even more crucially, I would care enough to go to bed early—a thing I did during Kit's week off too—so that getting up early didn't wreck me and wreck the event I was looking forward to.

I don't think I can get up before 10 on a regular basis, but if I got up at 10 or 10:30 to be out the door by 11 for a ~12:00 thing someplace, that sounds doable. It just has to be a fun thing. I have an OT appointment at 13:00 and I genuinely enjoy OT in addition to it being kind of vital for my health and well-being, but it's not the exhilarating kind of fun, so going to bed early and getting up early and getting there on time are all challenging.

What are exuberant fun things that could happen around noon? I think I need something where I'm making a commitment to someone else, at least at first; I've tried setting schedules through sheer willpower before and it's never worked out. Lunches with friends? Classes of some kind? (Ideally free or cheap ones.) Swapping language lessons with someone who wants to improve their spoken or written English and help me learn to read kanji or sign ASL? A teaching or tutoring gig? (Maybe the local library needs volunteers in their adult learning center. I've sent them a note.) A crafting meetup? A chorus or other singing group? A walking club? Doing storytime or otherwise helping out at Kit's daycare? It doesn't need to be a big thing or a long thing or a very structured thing. It just has to start at around the right time of day and get me out of the house and engage my body and mind and bring me real joy. Nothing will do that as well as time with Kit, but some approximation should be possible. Suggestions are very welcome, keeping in mind that I used to write the learning section of the nonsense nyc weekly events newsletter and already know about basically every source of free and cheap educational experiences in the city. :)

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