solarsys: (4 Nix)
"Shake it Out"
clover pixie (not Wanda)
gastropod Nix

other ideas:
- top-left-shoulderblade birds in flight
- chest mountains
- right rib/side crow in flight
solarsys: (2 Sam)
We might've found a grouphome. Maybe. It serves our county specifically, and it takes in people with "serious mental illness" as well as mentally ill folks with homelessness and substance abuse issues - it's a lot more open and general than most places we've seen. We shot them an email essentially asking if plurality and the struggles that sometimes come with it would be considered a "serious mental illness". I guess since DID and DDNOS are "disorders", they would probably count, but we don't think of our existences as disordered so much as our worldviews associated with our existences? If that makes sense? We can't function properly in the Real World and it's deeply and directly related to our being plural, and that's where the "disorder" comes in. We are not Healthy Multiple at this point. That's what we're hoping a group home will help us achieve, is becoming healthy as multiple. But we didn't say all of that in the email, of course.

I'm fairly sure that once we're legally 18 and diagnosed, they'll take us in. My big worry now is what we'll do in the meantime. We're graduating either this April or this June, depending on the circumstances, and after that we won't belong to any particular institution. We will have precious little structure, most of it centered around therapy appointments, which really isn't enough. We need pillars to lean on until we can get on our own feet. Barring a couple of programs we may be able to join, we won't have any pillars, any structure, until we turn 18. And even then, we could easily wind up on a waiting list instead of directly in a home. Especially considering our birthday is in December, which is a major mental health crisis time. The only saving grace is that it's before Christmas.

I'll have to look into those programs and see if and when we could get into them.

solarsys: (2 Sam)
Gods, it's already February. We might be graduating in two months. Two months. Gotta love these alternative high schools. Most people go to them for behavioral or academic issues or because theyre pregnant/parenting, we're going because our mental health is so fucked up we cannot function in regular school, full stop. Yay.

I can't even begin to consider what we're going to do after we're done with school. Work and college are both out of the question, and will likely still be out of the question by the time graduation rolls around. We can barely get out of bed some days. It's just not happening, not yet. I've been looking into grouphomes, but we won't be a legal adult until this next December, so I'm not sure what we'll do in the interim. This town is lacking in everything up to and including therapists, and it's honestly pretty ridiculous.

Even being back in therapy, the time between appointments drags on so slowly, we can't just sit at home and do nothing in-between, but there's just so little we can do. There's some kind of facility near where we live, but we're fairly sure it's just for substance abuse. We don't want to go back to the hospital, really, just to have something. Some kind of structure and therapy, once a week isn't enough. There are licensed therapists at this new school we're going to, and we'll be meeting with them, but what happens after that?

I'm worried for us. The road ends a couple of miles away, and we most certainly are not wearing walking shoes.



Jan. 28th, 2015 09:23 pm
solarsys: (3 Darby)
so we've been thinking about writing a sort of, not a memoir but a novel based on Us? like a novel about a bunch of systemmates going through the same stuff as us. like a fictionalized memoir i think? idk, it just sounds like... like "write what you know", that kind of thing. writing is hard for us because we can't stick to a single thing (which might partially be because Ell is so flickery about fiction). but writing about ourselves under the guise of fiction might work better? it's something to try out!
solarsys: (4 Nix)
  1. write and illustrate a novella/light novel
  2. figure out how to print a few dozen copies
  3. get an artist's alley table at a local con
  4. $$$ + build a name
solarsys: (Default)
The world is my oyster! Thats a phrase, right? Or is it just from Spongebob? I dont know, and I don't mind either way, because it's true! I mean, first off, I definitely want an A.A. in Religious Studies from the local community college, that much is for sure. And there's this herbalism academy up in Boston I'd totally be interested in, because learning about spices and herbs sounds really fun!! I could become a Unitarian Universalist minister maybe, or go to a four-year school and get a degree in social work or teaching. I could help people, whether through social work or through religion or both! (Of course not if they didn't want religious help!! I wouldn't force it on anyone, that'd be mean and awful). I could teach elementary school maybe, or be a school counselor, or teach... I'm not sure about the word "special ed" honestly, it seems pejorative,, maybe "accommodating education"??? I don't know :- (

Gosh i kind of got carried away... but still! There's so much to do in life! And i can choose different things to do at different points in life, like I could go back to school in a couple of decades for education! I just hope everyone else will be okay... They don't like school much. I'm not super good at it either, but I like learning things like religion and herbs and how to teach people! And even more important than the school is that I could help people afterwards! aaaaa there's just so much to do in life and I'm so excited!!!!! And don't even get me started on non-career things, like weddings, cause I could go on about that too, but that's something for another post ;- )

solarsys: (Default)
  • Going back to school, because we're trying to transfer for a reason, dammit, and going back is counterproductive, but we don't have much of a choice, and it's only a week, but still.
  • Therapy, because we like our current therapist but she doesn't specialize in the things we deal with and thus can only help us so much, and we need so much help it's not even funny, and we need a new therapist asap.
  • Meds, because the ones we're on now are shit and we need something else, or at least to get off this crap, but we need a psychiatrist for that, which we do not have.
  • Getting a job sometime in the next few months, because we really want to start saving up money for a bike and the only sources of income we have at the moment are lunch money and the possibility of selling our stuff, neither of which is a very good source of income, but on the other hand we don't have our bearings yet and going into work at this point would be kind of inadvisable at best.
  • Therapy, because we need to get help for Ell, our system little, and we don't know what to do for vem, and it sucks.
  • College (????), even though we'll probably just go to the local community college and let Darby get an associate's in religious studies, it's still a Concern, yknow?
  • Post-graduation plans, because at the moment our plans look like this:
"Get a job." -Six
"Get better therpy and maybe a support group irl," -Six
"Get an A.A. in Religious Studies" -Darby
"Become a Unitarian Universalist minister" -Darby
"Buy an old condemned house and fix it up with all this money we don't have" -Nix
"Become a tarot-reader-for-hire and part-time vampire" -Nix

Needless to say, we have a lot to figure out.


solarsys: (Default)
the Logan

February 2015

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